Letters to my lover
by NighttimeLover
Summary: a month after edward left in new moon the school he is now going to and Forks high is in a pen pall project together what will happen if edward and bella are pen palls first fanfic reviews welkomed T for lang.
1. the project

_**Letters to my Lover**_

Chapter 1

The Project

Bpov

It's been a month, a long, lonely, sad month.

I miss him.

That's all there is to it.

The bell rang

I got up from my seat in social studies and made my way towards my creative writing class.

"Ok guys, I have good news." Mr. Chenn said as they all got seated from talking and mingling about.

A hush of silence fell over the class

"I got the response from that school in Kenai and they accepted my request to have one of there senior creative writing class to be in a pen pall project with us!"

Were we really doing this? I did this like in first grade with a high school student. Well I did enjoy writing to a complete stranger and then meeting them. It was pretty cool.

"We'll have topics every so often for you talk about with your pen pall. I'll give your topic on Mondays, you'll have up to the next Friday to turn in you letter, not that Friday but the next,–and that's more than enough time to write and complete your letter- you'll read your pen palls letters on Monday after you sent them, then in 2 weeks I'll give you your new topic.

"This time around your topic is to describe yourselves and what you think of the project.

"And guys I want you to take the project seriously. I want you to be able think of your pen pall as some one you can trust and be truly honest with. You don't know them and they don't know you so what the worst that can happen."

As Mr. Chenn was saying how we didn't know them he was staring strait at me. When I met his gaze he quickly looked away.

"Ok, so there is a list of your names and your partner's names at the back of the room. So you can see who you'll be writing to the rest of the year and then we'll have a silent study hall."

When Mr. Chenn finished talking and the room broke out in chatter as everyone rushed to the back of the room.

I stayed seated waiting for the mess, which was once called the back of the room, to die down.

A little wile later Jessica, who sat across from me, was whispering to Lauren.

"Now since are last names are like right next to each other in the alphabet I just so happen to read who her pen pall is"

Once Jessica noticed I was staring she whispered something to Lauren that I couldn't pick up.

Lauren's eyes practically popped out of her head.

"Nooo, you don't mean.

I was out of my seat by then

Why should I have cared about what they were gossiping about now?

But for some reason I was sick to my stomach to find out who was my partner.

Swan…Swan…Swan…Swan, Isabella… NO!

Epov

Our family had relocated to Kenai, Alaska right off of the Kenai Spur Hwy on a little farm.

That's how it started out, all seven of us, together, family, but not hole. We were all missing something. A daughter, a sister, a friend, call it what ever you must but I lost my sole, my life, my one true…other, one, love, everything.

It started with Rosalie and Emmet.

Emmet was missing how Bella could find anything to trip over in a clean room when Rosalie confronted him and said she had enough of all the sadness in the house and that they were going on a little trip to just focus on them.

Then Alice and Jasper.

Alice was watching 'What not to Wear" when she turned off the TV and ran to Jasper, who had just walked through the door after he had accompanied on a hunting trip, and begged him to take her on a vacation a way from malls.

Now it's just me, Carlisle and Esme.

I'm posing as a senior so I could somehow graduate with Bella.

Bella the lovely Bella.

She influenced most of my actions here.

Because of her I'm sitting in a creative writing class right now for I know at one point in this dreadful day she will too.

My crazy teacher was at the moment looking for the surprise for this class that she have been planning for. It was some pen pall project involving a school from another state. She forgot where and is looking for the information paper that is currently in her bottom left hand drawer under her eight day old meatball sandwich.

I know this because I remember her practically yelling at herself in her mind on Friday "Under sandwich, Under sandwich, UNDER SANDWICH."

Currently the class was going wild throwing paper airplanes and spitballs

One girl, Sammy, will get up the nerve and ask me out to the Halloween Ball in 3…2…1…

"Hey, Edward?"

"NO Sammy." I don't care if it was rude. I just don't care any more

_There's the paper! Oh there's meatball all over it! I'll have to make a new copy_

I sighed sat up in my chair and stared at Miss. Abby

_Wow as if he actually knew I was ready._

"Um… ok guys… guys…SHUT IT. Thanks so I have an announcement. This class will be participating in a pen pall project with," she held the paper closer to her face the meatball sandwich had fallen out over the name of the town so she couldn't tell us where.

"A school" that got some giggles from my class mates.

"Anyways you'll be getting topics to talk to your pen pall about and it WILL be due at a certain time so no dilly dolling

"Um Mitch can you run next door and make a copy? Thanks.

So Mitch is making a copy of yours and your partner's name so… oh thanks Mitch

So just come up to me and I'll tell you your partner"

It was finally my turn

"Ok let's see Cullen, Cullen, Cullen OH here we are"

I froze

I saw it in her head, the paper, as clear as black and white.

I didn't know what to think.

"Ok Mr. Cullen your pen pall is the lovely Isabella Swan


	2. first letters

**Ok thank you guys SOOOO much for the reviews!**

**As u know Stephanie Meyer owns what she owns and all that jazz**

Chapter 2

First letters

Bpov

My computer has been on word for and hour and all I have is

_Dear _

_The sooner you writ it the sooner it gets done_

That's what I've been chanting to myself since I got home

_But he doesn't love you _

_But it's an assignment_

_But he doesn't LOVE you_

_But I'll fail the class_

_But __he doesn't love you_

_But he'll prosily write to you_

_HE DOSENT LOVE __YOU_

I've been having that argument since I saw his name

His beautiful name

The only name that will ever matter to me

_Dear Edward Cullen,_

_Fate is funny isn't it? I'm not going to waste my time on telling you who I am. Use your imagination. Be creative. I'm just going to tell you what I think of the project. I once did a project like this in first grade and it was fun. I fell bad for the high school student, I was a pretty crazy kid. Though now it's different, I know you. Mr. Chenn said I had t be truly honest with you so I'm sorry you have to go through the _torcher (please note sarcasm) _of listing to me. I have an idea let's just act like strangers if that's best for you. HI I'm Isabella Swan but I prefer Bella. I have brown hair and brown eyes and is a HUGE cults._

_Your pen pall,_

_ Bella Swan_

That was the hardest thing to write.

I had to take many breaks to gather my thoughts

The hole in my chest was aching for him

I tried to sound happy

To joke some

Use sarcasm

It doesn't help if I reread it

I know where it's going

Who's going to read it

Well it's over and I don't have to worry about writing the next one for two weeks

Epov

I raced home from school. I had to talk to Carlisle.

He was in the kitchen, talking to Esme, when I got home.

"CARLISLE"

_Oh no, what could have happen to get him this up set? _Carlisle thought as I entered the room.

His mind instantly went to Bella, a reflex reaction. He though of all the times Bella caused me to panic.

Then he shamed himself for thinking of Bella. She was over 13hundred miles away

"Carlisle…the project… Bella"

Esme and Carlisle's minds went crazy

_Bella? What about Bella? What dose she have to do with a project?_ They were both thinking the same thing

I sighed and pulled out the piece of paper that Miss. Abby given the class, -after I begged her to change my partner and she explained there's nothing she could do, set in stone,- to write our name and are partner's name on and had information about the project and what our first topic is.

I slammed it on the table, plopped into a chair and put my face in my hands.

Carlisle picked it up, read it, and then showed it to Esme.

_Your name:__ Edward Cullen__ Pen Pall's name:__ Isabella Swan__ Topic: to describe yourself to your partner and what you thing of the project_

"There's nothing I can do. She already knows I'm her partner and I'll have to write to her. 'It's set in stone'."

I could not do this to Bella. She doesn't need me to be around her. I'm no good for her.

I took my face out of my hands and looked out the window.

There were birds, squirrels and other animal up and about.

They're looking for there mate.

They sense that a frost is coming and is getting ready for it.

They are getting ready to protect each other.

Whenever I see couples of any kind I long for her.

I sighed knowing that I can't have her

"Well Edward I don't know what to tell you." Carlisle said he was concerned for me. And he didn't really know what to think of this situation.

"I'll write to her. If she doesn't want to write, I'll move classes, schools."

I'll do anything for her.

"Well do what you think is right." Carlisle said

He found this little problem of mine amusing. He saw it as no matter what I do or where I go I will always find a way back to Bella.

He had no experience with this situation so he could not do much but to tell me to do what is right.

Though as little as his advice was I was still grateful.

Esme on the other hand was joyful that Bella was my partner and that I could still have some contact with her.

She missed her so and wished still that we didn't leave.

She opened her mouth to say something as I got up.

I put my hand on her arm and squeezed

"I know" I didn't need to hear what she was thinking aloud

She sees and feels my pain and wants to do anything to see my smile how I did whenever I return from Bella.

But I can never be happy again. Without her that is.

_Dear Isabella Swan,_

_My life? Lonely. Especially without you. I don't care anymore if it doesn't involve you. Well that's all there is to tell you besides I'm a vampire. The project is nice. It's been killing me not knowing how you are. In all seriousness this is the only letter I will send to you if you tell me to. Though if you do want to keep doing this throughout these letters I hope to see how to decide to write to me, your thoughts throughout the rest of the school year._

_Edward_

p.s. I love you is what I wanted to add

I typed I love you throughout the whole letter but I knew I had to delete it

But I do lover her

Truly and forever

**K my border went crazy in one spot so just ignore that **

**REVIEW**


	3. Halloween

**To ****twilightgreensoccerpup6 ****  
THE CHAPTER IS LONGER ARE U HAPPY?  
JK  
hope you love **

**SM owns all**

Chapter 3

Halloween 

Bpov

_Flashback  
_

Charlie entered the house as I finished setting the table.

"Hey Bells. It smells good" he said as he took off all his gear

"Thanks dad"

Dinner was mostly quiet until dad spoke up.  
"So Mrs. Campbell came by the station and asked me if you like to babysit her two kids."

Mrs. Campbell is a young mother of two, a two year old girl and a six year old boy. It could be interesting. I haven't babysat since phoenix. It could be a good to do something instead of nothing.

Charlie was still explaining how much the pay was and when it was when I interrupted him. "I'll do it"

"Oh! Good."

About a minute later he spoke up again  
"I heard that a created writing class is doing a pen pall project are you in that class?" of coarse he would know about a small little project in _this _town. Curse small towns.

"Um yeah"

"So who's your partner?"

I panicked. My dad would freak if he knew that my partner was Edward. I don't know what he would do but I know that he would not be happy.

"Um, I don't really remember dad"

"Well, ok then" thank god he took that so easily

_End of flashback_

Now I'm working noon to five on Weekends for five bucks an hour for a month.

The two year old, Kala was taking a nap wile the six year old, Devin, was at a birthday party.

The class had turned in our letters on Friday when Mr. Chenn had told the class that our pen pall's letters came in early that morning.

I had put off opening it for a wile, for I was terrified of what it would say.

But I had nothing to do and I might as well read the letter so I could go a head and write my letter, 'What do you think of when you hear the word Halloween? Are you doing anything special? Do you even celebrate it?'

I opened the letter and forced myself to look at the paper.

_Dear Isabella Swan,  
My life? Lonely. Especially without you. I don't care anymore if it doesn't involve you. Well that's all there is to tell you besides I'm a vampire. The project is nice. It's been killing me not knowing how you are. In all seriousness this is the only letter I will send to you if you tell me to. Though if you do want to keep doing this throughout these letters I hope to see how to decide to write to me, your thoughts throughout the rest of the school year.  
Edward_

What?  
What is he saying?  
I don't get it.  
Should I write back?  
He sounds honest.  
But I know he doesn't love me.  
I want to tell him the truth.

But I don't want him to feel guilty about how he left me.  
I'll tell him the truth just this once

_Dear Edward,  
I miss you too. Don't go through trouble of trying to stop the project. I really don't care if I'm writing to you. I'm just concerned of how you feel towards writing to me. On the subject of Halloween I think of monsters hinging under your bed or Hollywood's creation of vampires. I'm not really doing anything special. There's the annual Halloween feasible up at school for the elementary students so I might help out with that. I never really liked Halloween. It was allays cold at night in phoenix during October and I hated wearing a sweater over my costume. So I soon stopped trick or treating when I was young._

_Bella_

_p.s. I know that I don't feel the same way as you do and I'm sorry if things get uncomfortable._

Epov

It dawned on me awhile ago that I will have to write to her one more time before she tells me she wants nothing to do with me.

The letter from Bella arrived this morning and it's now 2:27am and I still haven't opened it.

I don't know what she would say. I have no way to prepare myself.

I sighed

I have put this off long enough I will open it.

I think I was a little to hasty when I opened it for I ripped of the corner of the paper.  
Though I think there was no damage done to the actual writing.

_Dear Edward Cullen,_

_Fate is funny isn't it? I'm not going to waste my time on telling you who I am. Use your imagination. Be creative. I'm just going to tell you what I think of the project. I once did a project like this in first grade and it was fun. I fell bad for the high school student, I was a pretty crazy kid. Though now it's different, I know you. Mr. Chenn said I had t be truly honest with you so I'm sorry you have to go through the torcher (_please note sarcasm_) of listing to me. I have an idea let's just act like strangers if that's best for you. HI I'm Isabella Swan but I prefer Bella. I have brown hair and brown eyes and is a HUGE cults.  
Your pen pall,_

_Bella Swan_

She seams happy. Though in some places I question myself 'is she really happy'

Though I keep on telling myself that shell will move on eventually, possibly already has, I still see myself with her.

I sighed and got to work on my letter

_Dear Bella,  
I'm sorry that I have to write to you again if you wish that I not. I want you to know that I will always want to know what you are thinking no matter how 'toucherous' it maybe. As I said be for I will like to know what your opinions and thoughts on the subjects throughout the year. On the subject of Halloween whenever I here the word Halloween I think of all the Halloweens in my 'life'. The one that mainly comes to mind is the Halloween of '67. Alice had wanted to have a Halloween wedding. So we all got dressed up in 'real' vampire costumes and headed down to the cemetery and 10:00 to have the ceremony. The preacher who was marrying them had a calm look to his face but he was freaking out on the inside on about being at a cemetery at night. Alice had choreographed everything so when the preacher said 'you may now kiss the bride' it was the stroke of midnight and bells chimed as they kissed. It was very sweat. Emmet howled like a wolf when the clock rang and the preacher went berserk. I'm not doing anything special for Halloween except Emmet and Rosalie are coming in to visit. They both and Alice and Jasper are having a little vacation right now so it will be nice to see them.  
I hope your Halloween is something special,  
Edward_

I liked writing this letter. I loved that I got to share that memory with Bella.

I want her to know every thing about my life but I know I can't tell her I love her.

Bpov

The class had turned in our letters in yesterday and today is now Halloween.

Many kids were dressed up in costumes of all sorts, but I was just wearing an orange shirt with the words 'this IS my costume' on it, a long black skirt and my sneakers.

I was helping out at the dunking booth where elementary kids were trying to dunk 5th graders in a tub of chocolate milk. It was some second grader's idea.

I have been handing out softballs to little kids when the little boy who was next in line wearing a little vampire costume.

He was wearing black shoes that seamed as if his mother spent hours of work to shine them. He was also wearing black pressed pants and a cape that had millions of little bats flying around in millions of directions. He had a whit tea shirt and a black vest that had what seamed like red light up blood spots. His face is what got to me the most. It was powder white and had hard shading marks over his cheeks eyes and nose. His mouth was black and he had glue on fangs and a small dribble of blood painted on his face. His hair was a natural blonde but now hade orangeish red highlights through it, and was styled as if he just woke up.

Lord, I felt my self breaking down by the second.

I took in a sharp breath and looked up.

"Angela!"  
She was a few feet away eating orange and black cotton candy with Ben.

"Hey Bella, you ok?" she said as she walked closer.

"No. I feel pretty sick. Can you take over?"

"Sure Bella, no problem"

Once she said that I bolted from that spot.

As I drove home tears feel freely from my face, but I would not let myself breakdown fully until I got home.

When I finally made it to my room I collapsed on the floor.

After a fair amount of time the hole in my chest still didn't go away and the pain was getting unbearable. I started to bang my fist on the floor. Soon I noticed an annoying creaking sound that came from the floorboard I've been beating on.

I don't know what drove me to so my next actions but I pulled up the floorboard to see something that I never expected.

Under the floor board there I saw the two plain tickets to Florida, a CD, pictures of Edward Cullen and a folded up piece of paper.

This is my stuff.  
The stuff that Edward took from me.  
He never took it, he hid it.

I quickly picked up the pictures and my CD, and placed them on my bedside table. Then picked up the tickets and put them in my bedside table drawer. Finally I picked up the piece of paper.

I unfolded it and saw it was a letter.  
A letter.  
A letter, from Edward.

_Dearest Bella,_

_Leaving you in the forest was the hardest thing I had to done. I am leaving you today because I don't want to endanger your life any longer .Your life is way to precious to this earth to have it wasted. You have changed me in ways I have yet to discover. I left you to day, Bella, because I love you with all my heart. If someone other than you finds this letter I will tell them of a wonderful sole that should live a life in piece but decided to have it in danger by a monster, who could destroy her in an instant. So this monster decided to take act and save the beautiful sole before he killed it. This monster took her a way from him no matter how much pain it caused him. Bella if you find this note minuets, days, months, years, or even never, after I left you. I want you to know something, I lied._

_LOVE,_

_Edward_

Oh my.

Epov

"Edward come on, put on a costume."

Emmet and Rosalie arrived early today and ever since they got here he has been wearing a mad hatter costume. He wore one orange and one purple sock with brow shoes, grey pants with small white stripes, a huge brown coat and a tacky bowtie that had random prints on it, a brownish black hat with a pink ribbon around it with a piece paper sticking out of it, and red stuff that what was suppose to be hair on the inside of the hat sticking out. He also had his face plastered with makeup.

Rosalie on the other hand had just put her costume on and was wearing an Alice in wonderland costume. She was wearing a short blue dress. It was puffed up at the bottom and the sleeves. She was wearing a small apron over it that had two large buttons on the sides. Her hair was curled and pulled back by a hair band that had a little blue bow on it. She was also wearing knee-high socks and stiletto heels.

Anyone in our family dresses up on Halloween for one of two reasons. One, to please Emmet. Two, because Alice forces them into one.

Esme just put on cat ears and Carlisle had his stethoscope around his neck. So they were both free from Emmet complaining that they don't know how to have fun.

I on the other had was being pestered to death by him. If only I could die.

"Please, please, please, please, please, please, please, PUL-EEZE!"

"Emmet if I put something on will you leave me alone for the rest of the night?"

"Sure, but you have to wear what I tell you to"

I sighed as I got up "What do you want me to wear."

"It's a surprise!"

He was keeping his thoughts from me so I had no idea what he was planning so I decided to just go along with it.

Emmet was rubbing lipstick all over my face wile Rosalie was dying my hair green when I realized that I was the joker.

"All done!" Emmet exclaimed and he and Rose stepped away from me to get a better look. I saw in there heads that I look like an idiot and they burst into laghter. 

I sighed and got up to go to Emmet's closet where he had hid my costume.

~0~

It was now midnight, and the family was on the porch, and Emmet saw it as that the night was over and he can bug me again.

"So Edward how's school?"

He knew  
he knew Bella was my pen pall

"Emmet please."

"What? I'm just asking a simple question." He said innocently

Rosalie slapped him on the back of the head "Emmet this is not the time for it"

"Well then when is? He forced us to move from our home. Away from Bella. She was important to us all. Not as much as she was to you, but still she was important."

I squeezed my eyes shut "I know Emmet. I know."


	4. veterans day

**For chapter 3 Halloween costumes are on my profile. Edward's bedroom is also on my profile.  
Just so you know I'm going along with the 2009 calendar.  
Sadly Stephanie Meyer owns all.**

Chapter 4

Veterans Day

Bpov

It's Tuesday and I had finished all my homework for the week.  
Well except for one thing.

The letter arrived yesterday.

I'm so nervous. I need to know how Edward feels. There is no way to know but to look at his letter.

_Dear Bella,  
I'm sorry that I have to write to you again if you wish that I not. I want you to know that I will always want to know what you are thinking no matter how 'toucherous' it maybe. As I said be for I will like to know what your opinions and thoughts on the subjects throughout the year. On the subject of Halloween whenever I here the word Halloween I think of all the Halloweens in my 'life'. The one that mainly comes to mind is the Halloween of '67. Alice had wanted to have a Halloween wedding. So we all got dressed up in 'real' vampire costumes and headed down to the cemetery and 10:00 to have the ceremony. The preacher who was marrying them had a calm look to his face but he was freaking out on the inside on about being at a cemetery at night. Alice had choreographed everything so when the preacher said 'you may now kiss the bride' it was the stroke of midnight and bells chimed as they kissed. It was very sweat. Emmet howled like a wolf when the clock rang and the preacher went berserk. I'm not doing anything special for Halloween except Emmet and Rosalie are coming in to visit. They both and Alice and Jasper are having a little vacation right now so it will be nice to see them.  
I hope your Halloween is something special,  
Edward_

I enjoyed reading his letter. His letter seamed as if he shared his history with me. And I just wanted to know more. I know that he told me a lot about him already but I just wanted to know more.

I know have to write to him of what I think of Veterans Day and I know what else I have to tell him. I have to tell him about the floorboard

_Dear Edward,  
I'm just going to tell you about you about Veterans Day then I'll tell you what's really on my mind. When I was little I was forced to go to the annual school assembly so I never looked forward to it, but now I appreciate it. It gets us to really think about all those people who dedicated there lives for ours. Anyway on to the thing that is really on my mind. On the subject of Halloween, it was fine. Well something happened. I miss you Edward, and everything I see makes me think of you, and at the festival I saw a little boy wearing a vampire costume. I broke down and had to leave to festival. When I got home I found a loose floorboard in my room. I read the note, Edward. Is it true? Do you love me? Did you lie? You left so you won't endanger my life?  
Tell me the truth Edward,  
Bella_

When I typed 'do you love me' I sat and stared at my computer wanting it to disappear. I could not ask him these questions. It is to weird. What if he claims that he never wrote that letter? All I can do is worry. 

Epov

When Rose and Emmet left to take another tour of Europe, Emmet left with out a worry in the word. He knew I would stay in contact with Bella. He was so confident. He doesn't even know how complex it is.

Today was the day. The day I see with my own eyes that Bella has rejected me.

The letter arrived on Monday, Emmet and Rose left on Wednesday, and now it is Friday morning. I was on my bed that Alice had forced me to get, I had my laptop by my side and I had Bell's letter on my left bedside table. The widescreen TV, which I had set to change channels every 30sec and I only tuned the volume up to notch five, that I was starring at only hold an ounce, no, way less than a ounce of my attention. Anything I do I think of her.

I looked out the window to see the sunrise. I once was amazed by the sunrise. How each one is different. Special. Unique. Beautiful. Like Bella. But Bell's Beauty is so much more. So more special. So more unique. So more beautiful. Now that I have known Bella the sunrise will never be the same to me.

I turned on my side to reach for my computer, then on my other for the letter.

_Dear Edward,  
I miss you too. Don't go through trouble of trying to stop the project. I really don't care if I'm writing to you. I'm just concerned of how you feel towards writing to me. On the subject of Halloween I think of monsters hinging under your bed or Hollywood's creation of vampires. I'm not really doing anything special. There's the annual Halloween feasible up at school for the elementary students so I might help out with that. I never really liked Halloween. It was allays cold at night in phoenix during October and I hated wearing a sweater over my costume. So I soon stopped trick or treating when I was young.  
Bella  
p.s. I know that I don't feel the same way as you do and I'm sorry if things get uncomfortable._

My life, once again, had a purpose. Bella had told me to keep writing to her. My dead heart seam to sour.

_Dear Bella,  
You don't know how glad I am to hear that you still want to do this. So far I'm enjoying writing to you so I am perfectly ok with it. I can actually see you pouting and complaining with your mother on Halloween night. For Veterans Day, the holiday is just as old as I am. As you know, when I was human I always wanted to join the war so now that I think about it if I had joined the war I would be one of the first Veterans to be celebrated. But the thing I truly think about when Veterans Day rolls around is all of my and my parent's old friends who had died/survived the war.  
Edward  
p.s. don't worry about my feelings just speak your mind._

When I was writing my letter I wanted to tell her about how I felt when she thought of Halloween. She thought of the stereotype of a vampire. In a way, she thought of me.

Bpov

Ever since we got our partners for the project I'm pretty sure that Jessica and Lauren have been spreading rumors about me.  
They have been doing a good job for me not hearing anything, until today.

I had just gotten my food for lunch and was walking towards the table. Mostly everybody's back was to me, so when I approached the table I could over hear what Lauren was saying.

"I mean come on, first she is the first one he practically speaks to, then they date, next he oh so drastically dumps her so he can move away with his family, and finally there pen palls. Like really, there has to bee some outside force here."

"I wonder what they talk about." Jessica mused

"Nothing good, after all he did dump her in the middle of the forest with no easy way home. So he obviously despises her."

"But how do you know it is _that_ Edward Cullen. Didn't they like moved to LA? So it could be a completely different one," Angela stated. She is always sweet, looking out for people no matter what.

"How do I know? Sweaty you have to look at the facts. A, when she gets a letter, She looks so nervous she'll bolt out of the room at any chance she'll get. When everyone opens there letters she stuffs it in her backpack like its some secret treasure."

I finally had enough. I walked over to the table and got in my set next to Angela and all eyes shifted to me.

"You don't know even a third of what you are talking about."

I was so mad.  
How dare they make conclusions when they don't even know the whole story.  
When I don't even know the whole story.

When I don't even know if he lied that one day.

_\m/ -.-\m/_

Mrs. and Mr. Campbell were going to a special Friday the 13 party and needed a baby sitter. So here I am watching Devin playing on the WII and I was holding Kala for she was feeling sick so I had to rock her to sleep.

Devin was in the third inning of his Minnie baseball game when Kala fell asleep and my mind began to wonder.

'Supper speed!' the WII announcer said as Devin's charter started running and the background around him was blurred.

My mind went to that one day at the field. My eyes teared up and I buried my face in Kala's head and focused on her deep breathing.

Edward looking into my eyes and telling me everything will be ok and I shouldn't worry about hitting trees.  
Esme explaining everything to me.  
The loud crack like thunder when the ball meats bat.

I'm a mess. I need all of them. What am I doing with my life?

**I want to try up dating every 5 reviews because a lot of you read this story.  
I ****need**** your feedback so….**

**REVIEW!`**


	5. Thanksgiving

**I'm so sorry for all those 150 some people who when to go see my original chapter 4 and it turned out it was chapter 2.  
Special thanks to ****gwondra**** for pointing out my HUGE mistake.  
Sorry it took a while to update I was on vacation.**

**SM OWNS TWILIGHT):**

Chapter 5

Thanksgiving

Epov

"EDWARD! EDWARD WE'RE HERE! COME DOWN!" Alice and Jasper were coming down from Wednesday to thanksgiving.

I slowly got off the living room sofa, where I've been sitting at for the past 8 hours, and mad my way down the stairs.

"Hello Alice" I gave her a hug as I greeted her.

She had a ridicules smile on her face, and was visualizing the national anthem in Greek letters. She knew something and I truly didn't really care. I just raised an eyebrow at her and turned to great Jasper.

"Oh why don't we all catch up in the dinning room." Esme gushed

"Well Edward has some homework he has been putting off and really needs to get to work." Alice said simply "So in about an hour we'll be able to talk"

"I just have to write my letter to Bella. You can start with out me, and besides it won't take me an hour to do it."

"We'll see about that. And I have to tell you something important so the sooner you start the sooner you finish."

I don't know why but each time I get a letter I feel so nervous I don't even want to look at it. Even when I'm away from her she still makes me feel human in the oddest of ways.

_Dear Edward,  
I'm just going to tell you about you about Veterans Day then I'll tell you what's really on my mind. When I was little I was forced to go to the annual school assembly so I never looked forward to it, but now I appreciate it. It gets us to really think about all those people who dedicated there lives for ours. Anyway on to the thing that is really on my mind. On the subject of Halloween, it was fine. Well something happened. I miss you Edward, and everything I see makes me think of you, and at the festival I saw a little boy wearing a vampire costume. I broke down and had to leave to festival. When I got home I found a loose floorboard in my room. I read the note, Edward. Is it true? Do you love me? Did you lie? You left so you won't endanger my life?  
Tell me the truth Edward,  
Bella_

Oh my god. She knows. She knows. She KNOWS.

She thinks of me and she knows.

I have to see. I have to see her NOW.

I through open the door to my room and ran to the staircase.

Alice and Jasper where waiting there for me.

Jasper grabbed me in a tight hold way to tight because naturally I would have been able to brake away easily if I've been reading his mind. All I could think about was Bella.

"Edward, Edward, EDWARD, you have to listen to me! You can't go to Bella. Not now that is. You have to wait Edward. You can't just go there after three months. What will people THINK? Don't you think that some people will know that you're pen palls? Edward if you wait to see her it would be worth your wild. Do you know how much of a reword you'll get if you wait. You won't believe what will happen if you wait. You have to trust me on this!"

"How do you know? I need to see her! I can't go on much longer. I need to just check on her, Alice. Please, Alice, please."

I broke down sobbing. I needed her, now more than ever.

"Jasper let him go he won't go now." Alice said calmly

Once he let go I collapsed on the staircase.

After a wile Alice and Jasper sat next to me.

Alice took my hand in hers and squeezed tightly.

"I miss her to. You don't know how hard it is to tell you not to go back yet. Edward, please go write your letter."

_Dearest Bella,  
Yes I love you. I can't let my existence be the cause of your death. I need you. I love you. I just can't let myself be with you. You're just to pure. Bella, you don't know how much I want to go see you. Once I read your letter I wanted to see you this instance, but Alice and Jasper pined me down and told me not to go. God I love you, Bella. As much as I hate to say this, you have to move on. What am I thankful for? You. I am thankful for you. I am thankful for meeting such a warm, beautiful, cleaver, unique soul. Why? You have such an impact on my life I can't even begin to explain. You have changed me in ways that seem practically impossible.  
Love,  
Edward_

This was the second time I told her to move on, but do I really want her to.

That's an obvious answer.

No.

Bpov

These past weeks have been more repetitive than ever. I think I need to here his response to my last letter more than ever. Just sitting on the edge of my bed and staring at my feet if feel a hole in my chest rip open. My throat burns for I feel a need to cry out. To yell 'take me now' to the sky. I just feel like curling up in a ball in my bed and crying my eyes out. Though I won't let myself do it. I need to be strong. I glance over to mine and Edward's last letter.

_Dear Bella,  
You don't know how glad I am to hear that you still want to do this. So far I'm enjoying writing to you so I am perfectly ok with it. I can actually see you pouting and complaining with your mother on Halloween night. For Veterans Day, the holiday is just as old as I am. As you know, when I was human I always wanted to join the war so now that I think about it if I had joined the war I would be one of the first Veterans to be celebrated. But the thing I truly think about when Veterans Day rolls around is all of my and my parent's old friends who had died/survived the war.  
Edward  
p.s. don't worry about my feelings just speak your mind._

_Dear Edward,  
I'm thankful for Forks. So many things I am thankful for in Forks. Fork is my birth place. It is something to be thankful for, your birth. It is also the place where I met you. And I couldn't have met you with out the constant cover of clouds and rain. Wow, and you thought you'll never see the day I thank the weather. I'm just so thankful to so many things in Forks for they all lead me to you. You changed my life Edward, in many different ways.  
Bella_

_**Eieio**_

Today is thanksgiving and Charlie and a bunch of his good friends and there families where getting together for thanksgiving dinner.

All I know who is going is the Clearwaters the Blacks and some of Charlie's buddies from the station. There was also a possibility of some other people from la push.

I was getting the yams and stuffing in the police cruiser wile Charlie was trying to find his nice shoes.

"Ok Bells I'm ready to go." He said as he locked the door up and headed towards me.

The drive over to the Clearwater's house was silent as usual. Nothing different there.

When we pulled up we were the last ones to arrive thanks to Charlie's shoe problem.

"Charlie, Bella, glade you could come."

Harry Clearwater said to us as we approached the house.

I gave him a small smile and entered the house to go find a place to put the food.

"Oh, why hello there Bella. You can just set the food down where ever there's a spot." Sue Clearwater said as she spotted me.

For the rest of the day I just sat in a corner and look at my feet.

That was until Jacob Black decided to say hi.

"Bella, hi. How are you?"

When I looked up I saw hi grinning down on me.

"Oh, um I'm fine."

When I replied I noticed that a group of boys in the back were giving me odd looks

I remember one was named Sam. He found me in the forest and was the one who said that the Cullens aren't allowed to come down to the reservation.

When he and the two other boys saw me looking back at them they swiftly looked away.

"So how dose that sound?" Jacob said as he finished talking

"What? Oh, sorry Jacob I wasn't listening."

"Oh, uh I just asked if you wanted to go down to the beach or something."

"I'll pass thanks."

"Ok, maybe I'll see you around then?"

"Yeah, maybe."

I said even thought I doubt I will ever I will ever really want to again.

After he walked away I turned my attention back to the three boys. But to my surprise they were nowhere to be seen.

There was something odd about them. It was a strange feeling I had, but I had a felling that something of no good is going on.

Epov

After many hours Alice had finally convinced me to stay and wait. At least till June.

It's now Black Friday and I was out in the large field that surrounded our house.

Alice and Esme had gone to the mall for the sales event with Jasper to assist them. Meanwhile Carlisle was up at the hospital. So that left me here alone with only my thoughts as company. I liked it like that know. No thoughts surrounding me. It is quite peaceful. But my thoughts aren't quite as peaceful as my surroundings. I keep wondering what Bella did for the holiday, what Bella is doing now, who Bella is with. Oh they go on and on.

I picked a white wild flour that was in a sea of yellow ones. It was quite pretty in its own way.

I started to hum Bella's lullaby to myself. The lullaby puts Bella to sleep, helps her relax. I miss her lying in my arms while her breath starts to steady I'd whisper to her, and she'd given me a small smile.

I laid down in the field and held the little flower to my chest. Bella was my little white flower. And all the other girls in the world, they were just yellow ones. Ordinary. Similar.

She was literally one in a million.

**Just so you all know I don't like Jacob at all. So when I started a fan fic I told my self that I would not have any Jacob in any of my stories. But as much as I hate to say it, there is no twilight without Jacob. So I had to add him in somewhere. I'll probably won't do much with him.**

**You know what to do…**

**REVIEW!**


	6. Dream of Once Again

**Thanks so much for the reviews!**

**Yes I know I misspell a lot of things but just so you know when I write I'm ether watching TV or Half asleep so don't judge to badly.  
The only person who owns the twilight saga is the one whose name's initials are SM and… well you know who it is. I'm to lazy to keep writing an A/N so I better write a chapter to go with it so there will be an A/N**

Chapter 6

Dream of once again

Bpov

_Flashback_

Every on had just gotten back from the week long break and there is a whole lot of confusion going on in the creative writing class.

Since no one was here on Friday- when we were all supposed to turn in our letters- so we are all turning in all our letters now. So we won't get the letters from our partners till Wednesday and they won't get ours.

Every one was disappointed, but no one as much as Jessica and Lauren.

They started to put there heads together once Mr. Chenn made that announcement.

I had a feeling that they were planning something.

_End of Flashback_

"Ok, ok guys I got the letters. Topic on the board," Mr. Chenn said as he hurried into class 2min late.

"Lynn  
Becky  
Jessica  
Bella  
David…"

Mr. Chenn said as he called out our names for us to come forward to get our letters, as he was placing them on the table in front of him.

I looked for the envelope that had my name printed on it with his elegant handwriting.

I didn't see it, and as Mr. Chenn called out more and more names it got harder and harder to look for it.

"NO FUCKING WAY!"

That made my head turn when I heard Jessica yell that. Then I saw Lauren and Jessica standing side by side gaping at a sheet of paper. My eyes started to wonder and I saw an open envelope with a name on it. My name.

I made my way quickly to where they were standing.

"I just can't believe it," Lauren was saying as I snatch up the paper out of there hands and made my way back to my desk.

I knew I couldn't look at the letter now for I knew what I would see in it would cause me to breakdown.

I couldn't take it. It was already open. I had to look. No, no I can't.

_Dearest Bella,  
Yes I love you. I can't let my existence be the cause of your death. I need you. I love you. I just can't let myself be with you. You're just to pure. Bella, you don't know how much I want to go see you. Once I read your letter I wanted to see you this instance, but Alice and Jasper pined me down and told me not to go. God I love you, Bella. As much as I hate to say this, you have to move on. What am I thankful for? You. I am thankful for you. I am thankful for meeting such a warm, beautiful, cleaver, unique soul. Why? You have such an impact on my life I can't even begin to explain. You have changed me in ways that seem practically impossible.  
Love,  
Edward_

There was in tears by the time I read 'yes I love you'

When I was done reading I press the letter to my chest as silent tears ran down my face.

I don't know how long I sat there, but finally the bell brought me back to reality, school.

Epov

_Dear Edward,  
I'm thankful for Forks. So many things I am thankful for in Forks. Fork is my birth place. It is something to be thankful for, your birth. It is also the place where I met you. And I couldn't have met you with out the constant cover of clouds and rain. Wow, and you thought you'll never see the day I thank the weather. I'm just so thankful to so many things in Forks for they all lead me to you. You changed my life Edward, in many different ways.  
Bella_

'What is your favorite dream you ever had?' The topic.

This will be tricky.

_Dear Bella,  
Yes I completely agree that Forks is a place you can be thankful for. The topic at hand will be hard. My time that I had spent with you has seamed like a dream come true. That is because, Bella, I have spent so many years without a complete other, but when I spent my time with you I knew that I had found my mate. Forever. But look now. I am forbidden to go see you. And that is the worst punishment a man could ever have. But in truth the best dream I have had was the only dream I can remember. I had this dream when I 16. I was a small boy again, and was hoop rolling, it's an old game where you have a large hoop, like a hula-hoop, rolling on the ground and you try to keep it rolling for as long as possible with a long stick at least a foot long. Anyway, I was hoop rolling down a long winding path in the center of a meadow. There where little dandelions sprouting up everywhere and the occasional sunflower grew. I was rolling it longer then I have ever done and so when the dream came to an end I was laying in the grass gazing up at the sky. Dreams can be wonderful things. They're so simple. They can be any thing. I wish I could dream now. For I know if I could, I would dream of you.  
Love,  
Edward_

Bpov

_Dear Edward,_

_What if I don't want to move on? I love you. I can't let you go. You don't know how nervous I was hearing that you love me. You have to know Edward that I don't care that you 'put my life in danger' my life is in much worse danger without you. I feel like the world will come out and grab me and try to kill me if I'm away from you. I know that is a little dramatic, but on some days I feel like the world really will eat me. Since you've been gone I've had nightmares. They won't be scary to the normal person. It just involves me alone. I need you, even wile I'm incoherent. But the best dream I had ever had was one when I was on a cloud. And all the clouds around me and the one I was laying on were changing colors, from soft pinks and reds to the lightest orange you have ever seen. It was so warm and I was in pure bliss.  
Love,  
Bella_

_**Asdjf;ladjfda;sjfiasd;;ajsdfaidjdskjkdsajf;lj**_

I woke up once again from my dream. But this time it wasn't a nightmare.

My eyes were closed as I was sitting on what seamed like a love seat. My feet lifted on a large foot stool and my hair was lifted above my head and draped over the couch. I lifted my arms above my head and tilted my head to the side. My skin was so soft and worm. It was just so comforting.

Suddenly a cold hand brushed my face and a soft, velvet voice whispered in my ear, "When a sleeping girl lies, let her be" it was to quiet and low for me to hear but it made smile just the same.

But when I did wakeup, I was unknowing what that meant but I knew that something special will come out of this. What ever 'this' is.

**Sorry this chapter is short  
next will be better  
PLEASE REVIEW–the good and bad-**


	7. a christmas season

**You know what time it is!  
Well yes it is time to read my story but it is also time to tell you who wrote the TWILIGHT books...MEEEE!  
No sorry SM owns the books.**

Chapter 7

A Christmas season

Bpov

Today is the last day to the semester.

And there was the bell. School's over. Time to go home a pack and go to Florida.

Renee had convinced me to go to Jacksonville for Phil's family reunion.

I made my way to my truck through the snow. It's been snowing since I got on the road this morning.

As much as I'll hate to say it I'll miss the cold and the wet when I leave for the holidays.

Epov

Everyone was coming down for the Christmas and the New Year.

Me, Carlisle and Esme were waiting at the terminal for Alice, Jasper, Emmet and Rosalie to exit out of and meet us here.

All of them were meeting in the South of France to take a plane ride home. Well if you call this place home.

As of them came in site, I noticed that they were laughing and having a good time.

They all had smiles on there faces and they were really glad for all of us to be together at last. Well not all of us. The thought of Bella crossed each of there thoughts at least one by the time we got home.

Esme was ecstatic that all of us could be here today. She was trying to think of all the things we should do before they all leave.

"Oh Esme, we decided, on the plane ride over, that all of us are going to be staying together for a little while longer." Alice said confidently

"Oh Alice, thank you so much. Well everyone thank you this means a lot to me." Esme said. I knew if she could she would be crying.

Bpov

"Why Bella, look how much you've grown." Phil's oldest sister exclaimed.

The last time I've seen any of Phil's relatives was at his and Renee's wedding.

Renee and Charlie are both only children and Phil has three sisters and a brother. The oldest and youngest girls have three kids, one all boys and one all girls. The other girl is still single and the boy has twin boys.

Only one niece is married and has a kid on the way.

But out of all of them I am the youngest. Two are nineteen, one is twenty, the twins are twenty-two, and the rest are twenty-four.

All of them where scattered around there house mingling about.

Meanwhile I've been sitting in one of the small green chairs that they had in the living, watching everyone talk, eat, and talk.

_Very_ entertaining.

It's a little unconvertible to see all of them. I've barley knew them and they were treating me like we've known each other since forever.

Well, Renee must have some contact with them for they know some stuff that I would have never told them.

"So Bella how's your leg? I've heard you've hurt it really bad last spring when you've fell down all those stares."

"I hope you've haven't hurt yourself to badly since our last meeting."

"Oh, what a horrible scar you have there. I don't really recall that at the wedding. Well I have this one on my back. One day I was just minding my own business when you wouldn't know it…"

"I've heard you had a nasty brake up last September. I'll tell you, Huh _men_."

"So Bella have you listen to any good music lately?

"Hey Bella," I look up and saw Jason.

Jason is one of the eldest girl's kids, and nineteen.

I gave him a small smile and looked back down to my shoes. "Look some of us are going to go see Avatar tomorrow. Want to Come?"

"Sure." I had nothing better to do. Avatar seamed like a good movie. I don't think I could sit though a romanced movie.

Epov

It was 6 a.m. on December the 25.

We were sitting around a tree that Emmet had wanted to get. It was obvious to every one that it would be to big for the house but that didn't stop him.

They way we do presents we chose a person. Then they give out there presents to everyone, except there mate. One person opens there present, then someone else, then someone else, till all five have, or when I go all six, that way we can all appreciate the gifts that they have gotten us in more ways. One everyone has gone the mates exchange gifts.

It's always been this way, but this time, to know I don't have a mate to give a present to, is more painful.

While everyone was opening the mate-gifts I fished out my newest letter from Bella.

_Dear Edward,  
What if I don't want to move on? I love you. I can't let you go. You don't know how nervous I was hearing that you love me. You have to know Edward that I don't care that you 'put my life in danger' my life is in much worse danger without you. I feel like the world will come out and grab me and try to kill me if I'm away from you. I know that is a little dramatic, but on some days I feel like the world really will eat me. Since you've been gone I've had nightmares. They won't be scary to the normal person. It just involves me alone. I need you, even wile I'm incoherent. But the best dream I had ever had was one when I was on a cloud. And all the clouds around me and the one I was laying on were changing colors, from soft pinks and reds to the lightest orange you have ever seen. It was so warm and I was in pure bliss.  
Love,  
Bella_

She doesn't want to move on, let me go.

But I still give her night-terrors. She longs for me just as strongly as I long for her.

Oh, Bella. I know if I were human my vision would be blurred

I looked up a watch what was going on around me.

The girls were in the boys laps. Smiling and just enjoying each others presents.

Jasper could feel I was longing Bella, he clutch Alice closer and was glad he had her in his arm at the moment. For if she was not he would have to run and grab her.

I wondered if I could get away to my computer to write my letter to Bella.

_Its ok Edward, go, but I would hurry. If you don't come down within the hour, Esme will come and get you._ Alice said in her mind

I nodded and got up to go to my room.

_Dear Bella,_

_I feel exactly the same way. The world dose feel like it will strike at any moment when I'm away from you. Bella I'm so sorry I gave you nightmares, as I said before I would only dream of you, I think if I could possibly have a nightmare of you it would be of me having to leave you over and over again. But on a lighter note I love to hear of your unconscious thoughts. Its absolutely astounds me. I would have loved to be next to you in that dream. To hold your hand. To enjoy that complete bliss that would be radiating of f of you. Let's see. A winter Holiday memory. One Christmas I will always remember is our first Christmas in forks. Well in this decade. Jasper and Emmet wanted to play truth or dare, so eventually we all joined in. One of the dares, given by Alice to Emmet, was to drink a bottle of beer. Well eventually everyone was dared to drink one. It has a pretty nasty taste. In comparison to all the human food I have eaten/drank it was one of the worst. But the thing is, once Emmet was dared to drink it, he dared Jasper to go get the beer. Well eventually I decided that Jasper should go back to the Beer and Wine Cellar and act drunk. It was quite a sit to see. That night also involved karaoke, streaking and guns. It was quite eventful  
Happy New Year Bella,  
Edward_

I wanted to promise her that I wouldn't let anything attack her, even when I'm away. But I know I can't keep that promise. I'm to far away from her. I can't see her. Protect her. Or endanger her.

Bpov

_Flashback_

Avatar was pretty good until I realized that it had romance in it.

By the time I realized where the plot was heading I leaned over to Katelyn, Phil's oldest sister's Middle child.

"Hey Katie, I'm not felling well I'm going to call Renee and head home."

"Mmmhmm. Oh, uh by Bella." I apparently caught her off guard and was surprised by my leaving.

I had to wait at least 45min till Renee could pick me up. She was in the middle of golfing, her newest _thing._

"Hey Bella, how are you felling. You don't look that bad." Renee said as I got into the car.

"I'm feeling better now. Can we just go home?

_End of Flashback_

It's now Christmas and it's just me Mom and Phil. We passed around presents and eaten dinner, now I'm laying in my room staring at the ceiling going over all my classes in my head checking if I had any homework in any of them.

None, well except Creative Writing.

I got out Edward's letter and got to work.

_Dear Bella,  
Yes I completely agree that Forks is a place you can be thankful for. The topic at hand will be hard. My time that I had spent with you has seamed like a dream come true. That is because, Bella, I have spent so many years without a complete other, but when I spent my time with you I knew that I had found my mate. Forever. But look now. I am forbidden to go see you. And that is the worst punishment a man could ever have. But in truth the best dream I have had was the only dream I can remember. I had this dream when I 16. I was a small boy again, and was hoop rolling, it's an old game where you have a large hoop, like a hula-hoop, rolling on the ground and you try to keep it rolling for as long as possible with a long stick at least a foot long. Anyway, I was hoop rolling down a long winding path in the center of a meadow. There where little dandelions sprouting up everywhere and the occasional sunflower grew. I was rolling it longer then I have ever done and so when the dream came to an end I was laying in the grass gazing up at the sky. Dreams can be wonderful things. They're so simple. They can be any thing. I wish I could dream now. For I know if I could, I would dream of you.  
Love,  
Edward_

Mate. I have heard the term before but I never heard him use it to describe me with it.

A complete other. I see now, even more than ever before that he wants me forever. But I know he wouldn't risk my sole to have me forever. And that just make me frustrated.

_Dear Edward,  
It's funny many times I have thought of you as a dream, afraid that I will wake up and you would be gone in a puff of smoke. Hoop rolling, I think I've seen that in some old movie. I never given much thought to you as a young boy. I guess it's hard because I don't really know what they do in the 1900. Anyway a winter holiday memory I have is one when I was 12. I was going on a road trip with my class for the New Year. At one point we stopped at restaurant, and it was a pretty nice one mind you. Well I had to make a pit stop. So something I didn't noticed was the toilet I was using had a dent in its clean water piping. So when I flush the toilet, toilet water sprayed out of the dent in the piping. Well naturally I screamed, I tried to get out of the stall but I couldn't unlock it, so I was trapped in it. In the stall next to me was a friend of mine and she thought I just seen a spider. When I finally got out of the stall one of my best friends was standing outside staring at me like I was a maniac. So I told her the toilet exploded on me. Her eyes widen and ran out of the bathroom to tell the casher. I was damp for the rest of the bus ride.  
Happy holidays,  
Bella_

Once I finished writing I laid down on the bed as I waited for the paper to finish printing.

My thoughts drifted back to school.

Once the word got around school that Edward Cullen actually loves me and possibly could kill me everyone gave me even stranger looks than they have been giving before.

They when from 'what's so special about her' to 'what could Edward could to kill you.' It was actually nice for once no one looking at me like I had eight eyes. Well, that is for now.

****

"Ok Bella, have you took a final look around to see if you got every thing?" Phil asked.

"Oh I was just up there she has every thing." Renee said.

"Well we best be off the. Be back in an hour time." She continued as we walked out the door.

Once we where on the road Renee started to speak cautiously

"Bella you left something in your room."

I did? I was pretty sure that I got every thing.

"It's a piece of paper."

Oh on.

"Bella do you have contact with Edward Cullen"

Renee had come down during that first week. I had not eaten or slept in days. I had thrown a fit over her taking me to Jacksonville. I known that she must have known that I got dumped but I never expected her to know by whom. Well she must have. She did meet him back in spring.

"Mom, Forks is in a pen pall project with another school down in Alaska, and that just so happens to be the place where he is currently going."

"So you chose to be his partner?"

"No mom it was already chosen at random. I had no control over it."

"Dose Charlie know."

That was the one thing I wished that she didn't ask.

"No"

"Well it's your choice. I don't even know if I would tell him to tell you the truth. He was pretty mad when I saw him last. He really does care about you Bella."

"I know mom I know."

We soon arrived at the airport and shared our goodbyes. And with that I left to journey back to Forks.

**Ooooh this chapter was looooong.  
Well you better enjoy it because I'll be at band camp mon-sat.**

**Hey you know Bella's letter she just wrote. Yeah the one YOU just read. Well her Christmas experience was MINE. Yes a toilet once EXPLOTED on me. Well there were a few differences in the tail so it could fit in the story, so yeah, tell me your thoughts on that.**

**Reviews make me soooo very happy  
tell me every thought you had during this chapter. No EVERY chapter.  
**

**Happy Forth of July **


	8. Resolutions

**Hey guys I'm so sorry that I took forever to update. Band camps was so amazing its just so hard getting used to being back. My computer crashed so that is another one my excuses :)  
SM owns the books yada yada yada.  
Enjoy!**

Chapter 8

Bpov

"Bella, focus," Angela said as she snapped her fingers in front of my face.

I was currently marveling over the little charm that I found in Edward's most resent letter. It was a clear cut diamond that through sparkles into the light.

It's Wednesday and I gotten home a week ago, every one turned in there letters on Monday and so we received our letters today.

Angela and I are in a chemistry project together, and we are currently at my house working on it. Though it's more like she's doing the project and I'm assisting her.

"Hmm?"

"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked wile looking at the charm

"No. So, um, where were we?" I asked

_Have-you-noticed-I-type-whatever-I-want_

_Dear Bella,  
I feel exactly the same way. The world dose feel like it will strike at any moment when I'm away from you. Bella I'm so sorry I gave you nightmares, as I said before I would only dream of you, I think if I could possibly have a nightmare of you it would be of me having to leave you over and over again. But on a lighter note I love to hear of your unconscious thoughts. Its absolutely astounds me. I would have loved to be next to you in that dream. To hold your hand. To enjoy that complete bliss that would be radiating of f of you. Let's see. A winter Holiday memory. One Christmas I will always remember is our first Christmas in forks. Well in this decade. Jasper and Emmet wanted to play truth or dare, so eventually we all joined in. One of the dares, given by Alice to Emmet, was to drink a bottle of beer. Well eventually everyone was dared to drink one. It has a pretty nasty taste. In comparison to all the human food I have eaten/drank it was one of the worst. But the thing is, once Emmet was dared to drink it, he dared Jasper to go get the beer. Well eventually I decided that Jasper should go back to the Beer and Wine Cellar and act drunk. It was quite a sit to see. That night also involved karaoke, streaking and guns. It was quite eventful  
Happy New Year Bella,  
Edward_

_Dear Bella,  
enclosed is a crystal heart that I have had for decades. It was my mother's. I have manny trinkets like this that I have given away over the years, and I want you to have this one for my heart is truly yours.  
Merry Christmas._

Epov

_Dear Edward,  
It's funny many times I have thought of you as a dream, afraid that I will wake up and you would be gone in a puff of smoke. Hoop rolling, I think I've seen that in some old movie. I never given much thought to you as a young boy. I guess it's hard because I don't really know what they do in the 1900. Anyway a winter holiday memory I have is one when I was 12. I was going on a road trip with my class for the New Year. At one point we stopped at restaurant, and it was a pretty nice one mind you. Well I had to make a pit stop. So something I didn't noticed was the toilet I was using had a dent in its clean water piping. So when I flush the toilet, toilet water sprayed out of the dent in the piping. Well naturally I screamed, I tried to get out of the stall but I couldn't unlock it, so I was trapped in it. In the stall next to me was a friend of mine and she thought I just seen a spider. When I finally got out of the stall one of my best friends was standing outside staring at me like I was a maniac. So I told her the toilet exploded on me. Her eyes widen and ran out of the bathroom to tell the casher. I was damp for the rest of the bus ride.  
Happy holidays,  
Bella_

Bell has never ceased to amaze me. When ever I read her letters now, I can't help but smile.

_Dear Bella,  
I see now that not only that you attract danger, but accidents seem to like you fairly well too. A toilet explosion, I would never expect anything would happen like that in a long time, well I never heard of that ever in my existence. My New Years resolution is to someday come back to you. The reason behind it is that I miss you too much. I know this letter is short, but you are on my mind all the time and I can't get you out of my head..  
I miss you,  
Edward_

My mind is captivated by her. I don't know how many ways I could tell her she is all I could think of, love, long for.

Bpov

There was a lot of homework the pass few days. It's now Wednesday lunch hour and I only have two more days till the letters are due. I even have a pile of homework tonight and I think this is the only time I'll have to write my letter. So this means it hast to be hand written, joy.

I sat down at the lunch table with a bottle of water and an apple and bent over to grab my stuff. I slipped out a piece of paper from my backpack along with a folder to write on, placed both in my lap, pulled out the pencil from behind my ear, and got to work.

_Dear Edward,  
Thank you so much for the charm. Sorry that I'm writing this in hand. There is lots of homework this week and I don't have time to do it at home so I'm doing it at lunch. The truth or dare game seams like it would get out of hand easily. I normally don't do New Years resolutions but if I had to have one it would be to eventually tell Charlie about the pen pall project. I really don't know I haven't done a new years resolution in years. Since it's the beginning of the second semester everyone is starting to seriously think of collage. I'm not sure if I really want to go to collage. I mean I feel like I need to do something before I go off to collage. I'm not sure what it is yet but I'm pretty sure it involves you.  
Love,  
Bella_

"Whatcha doin Bella?" Jessica asked from across the table, slightly standing up to get a better view of the paper.

"Oh nothing, just getting a head start on homework tonight" I said as I put up my letter and folder. I placed the pencil back behind my ear and moved a stay hair out of my eyes.

"Oh what's that?" Jessica asked as she grabbed my forearm to get a look at my wrist my wrist that held my charm.

"Christmas present, it's fancy. Who got it for you?" she asked with an arched eyebrow.

She knew that no one in forks could afford anything like that. Plus one conversation got around to my mother and Phil's background so neither of them. So who else could it be besides my rich not so ex-boyfriend.

"I found it in an old antique store. It was pretty cheep."

"Oh? I could never see you actually picking out this kind of stuff," she said knowingly.

"Well," I paused no knowing what to say.

"Bella I have a question on the chemistry project can you help me." Angela said to my rescue.

I gave her a thankful smile and shifted my weight over to her to give her my full attention.

**Once again I am sorry about the wait. It might be awhile again for I'm getting ready to go to Wisconsin. Woo. REVIEWS, REVIEWS, ****REVIEWS!**** I need the good and the bad. So by the time I post a new chapter I want 45 reviews **** peeeeease. Tank you.**


	9. The day I met you

**Hey everyone I think I should write again, even thou I only got 44 reviews :,(  
JK I'm just really tired from doing nothing so here we go…  
SM… she we kind of owns the books and stuff, so yeah.  
The Cullen's Living room is on my profile.**

Chapter 9

The Day When We Met

Bpov

The topic for this week was to write of how we think Martin Luther King change our own life.

But all I could think of today was that today exactly one year ago I first saw Edward.

_Dear Bella,  
I see now that not only that you attract danger, but accidents seem to like you fairly well too. A toilet explosion, I would never expect anything would happen like that in a long time, well I never heard of that ever in my existence. My New Years resolution is to someday come back to you. The reason behind it is that I miss you too much. I know this letter is short, but you are on my mind all the time and I can't get you out of my head.  
I miss you,  
Edward_

_Dear Edward,  
Martin Luther King has help change many lives and I guess the way he changed mine was that I would never have some of the same friends that I had in phoenix. But what has probily changed my life was a year ago today, the day that I write this letter. Today was my first day a year ago I started school here. I will truly remember that day forever. Not only because you were giving me death glairs, though that is a big reason why, but because that day was the first day of meeting a new person that I didn't know would change the way I see love. I really hope that one day you do come back to me.  
I love you Edward,  
Bella_

Epov

Jasper, Alice and I were in the large living room, he had her curled up in his lap on one of the couches as she flipped through the large new fashion magazine that had just arrived, and I was waist deep in my thoughts. Today was the day, one year ago, I saw my precious Bella. How I thought so little of her. All of the boys there only thought of her. She was there shiny new toy. How I was so board at that fact. Then I saw her. I had wanted to protect her from the rude thoughts of Jessica Standly. It made since to me at the time but I now under stand. Even before we officially met, I had wanted to protect her.

I was to deep in though that I barley took note of Emmet prancing down the stairs.

To distracted to notice what was in his hand.

Emmett cleared his throat to get everyone's attention, but I didn't even look at him for I could see was when Bella and I first made I contact, she was shy and very curious.

Only when I heard a ripping of paper is when I only looked up.

"Hear ye hear ye, a letter from Miss Isabella Swan."

He was holding Bella's most resents letter. I bolted towards him and started chasing him around the room as he started to read the letter

"Dear Edward," he said in a girly voice "Thank you soooooooo much for the charm. Sorry that I'm writing this in hand. There's lots'a homework this week and I like don't have any time to do it at home so I'm doing it at lunch."

"Emmett." I warned him as he flipped over the coffee table trying to trip me over, but was unsuccessful.

"HEY! Which truth or dare game did you tell her about and how much dose she know." He asked. He obviously read ahead

"Stop it" I said as I pounced on him, making us do a couple of summersaults. I quickly grabbed the letter from his hand and jumped up.

"Stay away from my stuff, Emmett." I said in a huff. I made my decision then, that I should write my letter to Bella now before anything else happened.

"Hey it's not my fault that you left it in plain sight."

"It was under five textbooks."

"I knocked them over."

"They were in my room. The room you are not support to enter with out my permission, or have you forgotten that, what where you doing in there anyways?"

"I'm not stupid Edward, of course I remember that I just didn't fell like asking. I was board so I wanted to see what you where up to in school."

"What ever Emmett." I said as I maid my way upstairs.

_Dear Edward,  
Thank you so much for the charm. Sorry that I'm writing this in hand. There is lots of homework this week and I don't have time to do it at home so I'm doing it at lunch. The truth or dare game seams like it would get out of hand easily. I normally don't do New Years resolutions but if I had to have one it would be to eventually tell Charlie about the pen pall project. I really don't know I haven't done a new years resolution in years. Since it's the beginning of the second semester everyone is starting to seriously think of collage. I'm not sure if I really want to go to collage. I mean I feel like I need to do something before I go off to collage. I'm not sure what it is yet but I'm pretty sure it involves you.  
Love,  
Bella_

_Dear Bella,  
I like your hand writing. It just has yourself written each loop and cross of each word. I do think you should tell your father that I'm your pen pall or else he will be ever madder than he would be when I do come back. I do hope that what ever you do after school I'm right there beside you. I remember Marten Luther King. He has changed the way of living in school for I remember back in the fifty's how there were separate things for colored people. It went from different water fountains to them getting the short end of the stick in nearly every thing. It was sometimes unconvertible when ever the topic of how they should be treated because Jasper, being a Confederate soldier, had his own opinions. After a wile we all agreed that they are all people. And humans should learn to deal with it. I have to wonder if you know that when you get this letter, three weeks a go, a year a go, is when we first met. I know I wasn't the most polite person you met but I'm glad you saw past that and was able to fall in love with me.  
Love,  
Edward _

**Short chapter! Sorry.  
Will Bella tell her father in the next chapter?  
I don't know. You'll just have to come back.  
Thank you for all of the review! Tell me your thoughts ****PLEASE!**** I want to be like Edward and read your thoughts!  
I'll try my best to get the next chapter up soon but I might be lazy so don't hate.**


	10. Antique

**Hey, I am so sorry that I didn't update soon.  
You guys ROCK and don't forget it.  
SM owns the books.  
Watch and Clock on profile**

Chapter 10

antique

Epov

_Dear Edward,  
Martin Luther King has help change many lives and I guess the way he changed mine was that I would never have some of the same friends that I had in phoenix. But what has probily changed my life more, was a year ago today, the day that I write this letter. Today was my first day a year ago I started school here. I will truly remember that day forever. Not only because you were giving me death glairs, though that is a big reason why, but because that day was the first day of meeting a new person that I didn't know would change the way I see love. I really hope that one day you do come back to me.  
I love you Edward,  
Bella_

She remembered, when I thought she wouldn't. I changer her life just like she changed mine.

The topic this time was to write about an antique that we have or once had. This will either very easy or very hard.

Most of the things I have were either once my mother's or my father's. I gave most of my mother's little trinkets to Alice and Esme and some to Rosalie, and I would have given all of them away except that Esme wouldn't let me. 'You will one day find that special someone and you will want to spoil her with little gifts and what not. And you WILL regret giving all of your mother's jewelry to Alice.' Though the oldest one is one that I will never ever give away, my mother's ring.

_Dear Bella,  
I will also remember that day for eternity. I have many things that are antiques for when my parents died I nearly got everything. From my father I got his watches and chains. From my mother I got many trinkets and jewel, like the heart I gave you. I gave many of them to Alice, Esme and Rosalie but I kept some. I hope to give them to you eventually. The oldest has to be my father's pocket watch, it was his father's, fathers, though the oldest thing in the house is Carlisle's father's cross. There are many odds and inns throughout the houses. It has been so very interesting when we find something new._

_Love,  
Edward_

I don't know why I didn't tell her about the ring but I think I want to keep it from her till that time dose come.

"Edward if you want to go hunting with us then get down here now." Esme, Carlisle and I were going to hunt while the others participate it there own individual activities.

Bpov

I was lying on my bed reading Edward's note.

_Dear Bella,  
I like your hand writing. It just has yourself written each loop and cross of each word. I do think you should tell your father that I'm your pen pall or else he will be ever madder than he would be when I do come back. I do hope that what ever you do after school I'm right there beside you. I remember Marten Luther King. He has changed the way of living in school for I remember back in the fifty's how there were separate things for colored people. It went from different water fountains to them getting the short end of the stick in nearly every thing. It was sometimes unconvertible when ever the topic of how they should be treated because Jasper, being a Confederate soldier, had his own opinions. After a wile we all agreed that they are all people. And humans should learn to deal with it. I have to wonder if you know that when you get this letter, three weeks a go, a year a go, is when we first met. I know I wasn't the most polite person you met but I'm glad you saw past that and was able to fall in love with me.  
Love,  
Edward _

I was smiling my head off. Angela has been teasing me all day about how I've been 'out there' for the past few days.

_Flashback _

"Bella, whatcha loockin at?" Angela said. I was looking into my locker, the bell that released everyone from school had rung a few minutes ago and the halls were deserted. Angela was only there because she had been absent yesterday and was just catching up on work.

"Oh nothing Ang." She raised an eye brow at me.

"Are you sure that _someone_ isn't on your mind."

"_Angela_" I said really wishing she would stop in case someone would pass by and hear her.

"Are you in _love_ Bella?"

"Angela."

"Who do you _love_ Bella?"

I blush violently "Shut up."

"Who do you love Bella?" she tickled me and I started laughing.

"Who do you love? Who do you love? Who do you love? Who do you love?"

"A a an angalaaaaa s s stoooop!" I said

"I will once you tell me who you _love_!"

"Please!"

"OK, ok, ok." She stopped tickling me.

"I am in love with Edward." I said in a breathless whisper for I was out of breath

"I'm _sorry _I can't HEAR you."

"Edward."

"WHO?"

"EDWARD FRICKIN CULLEN!"

"And what about him?" she asked sweetly.

"I _love _him."

_End of Flashback_

Ever since then I've been in love with love.

I sighed as I got up to write my letter.

_Dear Edward,  
of course that I would know when that day was. I think the oldest antique I have is grandma Swan's old clock. Though now that I do think about it you may be my oldest antique, you were once mine and you will be mine again and you are old enough to be one. But being antique doesn't just mean its old it means it has sentimental value. And you defiantly have that.  
love,  
Bella_

Empov

"Edward if you want to go hunting with us then get down here now."

"Rosie," I said making my way towards her where she was sitting at the computer in our room.

"Em, I'm busy," she said pushing my face off her neck.

"But I'm board."

"Then go play with Alice."

"Hmmph, fine."

I left our room and to the living room.

As I made my way to sit next to her by the fire place she got up to meat me half way.

"Two words," I raised an eyebrow at her "road trip."

"And where to."

"Spoons."

A smile stretched across my face

_Flashback_

We had all decided that we were all finish wish collage for a while and we were choosing where we would go next for high school.

"Why don't we go back to Forks?" Esme offered "It's been years since we've been there."

"Forks?" Alice said, completely confused.

"What about the wolves?" Rosalie said. She didn't like them very much. Probably she hates them the most out of everyone.

"What's wrong with _wolfs_" Jasper piped in.

"Ooh, there werewolves," Alice said seeing Edward's response before it happened "but more like shape shifters that change into wolves. They don't trust us though, so to keep us off there land they have a treaty. We don't go on there land and they wont reveal us. There is other stuff but we'll go over that later Hun." As Alice said all this she had the 'out there' look in her eyes.

Crazy psychic, all she can do is talk.

"Wait a sec. it's called FORKS?"

"Don't worry Alice in a few years we'll go to Spoons for our repeat first years of collage."

"Ha Ha Emmett, will someone explain to my why there is a town named Forks."

"And someone tell me why there isn't a city named Spoons. I mean you can't have a fork with out a spoon."

"Emmett be quiet," Edward piped in, party pooper.

_End of Flash back_

Bpov

I couldn't keep my eyes open any longer.

I turned my computer off and crashed on my bed.

Empov

After many torturous hours we finally arrived at the Forks home.

"Yes." I cried as I slipped out of the car and on to the floor.

"Emmet grow up, get up and let's go to Bella's"

_~0~_

"I'll go up first then you can go." Alice instructed me

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, just go up."

After a few seconds I fallowed her up.

Alice was standing right in front of the window so I went in feet first, knocked her down on the floor.

"Emmett you idiot she'll wake up, shit get down."

She pulled my down.

Bpov

I woke up very discombobulated. I think a firecracker when out because I think I woke up because I think I heard a loud noise, and a vibrating shake.

I rolled over and just as I did a large figure popped out of the dark.

"Hi Bella!"

"GAH," I flipped onto the floor

"Emmet, Edward would kill you!"

I pick my head off the floor, for I new those voices.

"Alice, Emmett?"

Her face popped in front of mine with a wide smile on it.

"Hello Bella."

"Alice!" I exclaimed, now wide awake.

"Sorry to wake you, Emmett doesn't know how to be silent, and invisible."

"Sorry, I saw you were awake and I was excited to see you."

"Thanks Emmett thanks _a lot_" I said as I rubbed my head my head from where I hit it.

**Review =)**


	11. Valentines Day

**Just so you know the Cullens WILL come back. I've wanted them to come back ever since I started writing. But I've had a plan since the beginning so don't push it  
SM owns all rights.**

Chapter 11

Valentines Day 

Bpov

Emmet and Alice stayed for a week, seven long days.

We went to the movies, I did my homework and just talked. But most of all, being with them made me think of Edward. They spoke of him, but not often.

_Flashback_

Emmett and Alice woke me up about three twenty on Saturday morning.

Around three twenty-five Emmett was whining about how my room was too small. So we moved to the living room to watch some television.

Alice and I were on the couch and she was doing my toenails. Emmett was surfing the channels. He landed on a competition show of some sorts and they were doing relay races. Five men each had a girl on his back and they were running through all kinds of obstacles to the finish line.

I couldn't help it any longer. I had to ask about him.

Just as I thought it Alice answered.

"He's very depressed, actually it's all very depressing."

"Why can't he just come back Alice?"

"Because I won't let him." She grinned evilly.

_Then Charlie came in._

There was a noise upstairs and Alice smiled widely.

I glanced at the clock and saw it was six thirty, time for fishing.

"Bells, you up?" Charlie asked clearly confused.

"Yeah dad."

"Chief Charlie!" Alice exclaimed clearly excited about something

"Alice and, uh, Emmett what are you doing here?"

"Well just because I wont let my brother set foot in this town doesn't mean me and Emmett can't go on a little road trip."

"You won't let him? Oh well that's a good thing."

Alice saw him working the math in his head for he had no idea why she was even here.

"Bella you haven't told him yet." She said in fake shock

"Told me what?"

"Oh, _well_, when we moved to Kenai, Edward enrolled in a creative writing class and it just so happened that the creative writing class Bella is in and that one are doing a pen pall project together. AND GUESE WHO BELLA'S PARTNER IS!" Emmett said all this very fast so I didn't know what he was saying until she stopped. He practically screamed the last sentenced for once he was done Alice tackled him.

"What! What did you say? Bella why, why didn't you. Why didn't you tell me?" he said yelling at first then shocked and breathless when he ended.

"Um, I knew you would be mad."

"I'm not mad." He said quietly.

"So can we stay for a few days?" Alice asked.

_End of Flashback_

Epov

Alice and Emmett had just returned from a road trip to someplace. They were gone for a week and they would not tell me where they have been.

And I did not care at the moment for in six hours it will be Valentines Day.

Bpov

"Hey Bella where were you on Friday?" Jessica asked. Friday was the Valentines dance and I did not show for Alice, Emmett and I went to the movies before they would leave.

"The movies," I said nonchalantly setting down my bag.

"Ooh, who with?"

"Just some old friends." She rose and eyebrow at that.

"Do I know them?"

"Probably"

"Who are they?"

"Uh, Emmett and Alice Cullen," I said quickly and quietly for class was just being called to order. Let the rumors begin.

_777784256782215_

_Dear Bella,  
I will also remember that day for eternity. I have many things that are antiques for when my parents died I nearly got everything. From my father I got his watches and chains. From my mother I got many trinkets and jewel, like the heart I gave you. I gave many of them to Alice, Esme and Rosalie but I kept some. I hope to give them to you eventually. The oldest has to be my father's pocket watch, it was his father's, fathers, though the oldest thing in the house is Carlisle's father's cross. There are many odds and inns throughout the houses. It has been so very interesting when we find something new.  
Love,  
Edward_

_Dear Edward,  
Emmett and Alice paid me a visit last week. It was fun but very sad without you. They got me into telling Charlie, so that's all done a taken care of. Any-who on the matter of Valentines Day, it's fuck'n depressing. Girls are flaunting this week's boyfriend. I remember in Elementary how you would make valentines boxes in art class, then you would go to the store to by little card that you spent hours on to write the to's and from's to finally put the little heart shaped stickers on the edge. I loved the suspense of going around to the other kid's desks and sliding in the cards while everyone else dose the same thing, going around occasionally putting one in yours. Finally there is the joy of dumping out the box a 20 or so cards laying there on your desk some have candy and some don't. you try to be nice and read all the cards and be thankful that they took the time to do it, but all you really want is to pig out and the day's activities to begin.  
Love,  
Bella_

Epov

I've been bugging Alice and Emmett to tell me where they went when Alice shooed me to go write my Valentines letter to Bella. It was late and she was getting board so she wanted to find Jasper so they can *cough, cough* entertain each other.

_Dear Edward,  
of course that I would know when that day was. I think the oldest antique I have is grandma Swan's old clock. Though now that I do think about it you may be my oldest antique, you were once mine and you will be mine again and you are old enough to be one. But being antique doesn't just mean its old it means it has sentimental value. And you defiantly have that.  
love,  
Bella_

_Dear Bella,  
I would love to be yours but I don't really want to be an Antique. I'm not that old you know, compared to others of my kind. Every Valentines Day my family goes out on little dates while I stay home, it's been like that for years. This time I didn't want to stay home, I felt contained in the house and just had to get out. I didn't run like I usually do, I walked to town. When I go to town I wondered around a little bit till I came to the park. I sat there all night, the school is only a few block away from the park so I just when strait to school from there. I am useless without you Bella, once that final bell rings on that last day of school, I'll be there.  
Be mine,  
Edward_

**OK, ok I know it's not much and it took forever, I've been busy. And as much as I hate to say it, school starts tomorrow :'( it's unreal!  
Homework comes first before the computer so I'm sorry. PLEASE don't hate me, I love you ALL. AND if you love me you'll **_**review. **___


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